Last Day

Today was my mental break day, and with any luck tomorrow will be another. After 3.5 months in Kenya and a particularly frustrating few weeks, I splurged on a swanky hotel for my last night in the country. I’d been trying to change my flight to go home a few days earlier, but wasn’t able to do it for less than $655! So… since I’d expected to spend $200-ish on a ticket change, I decided that if I couldn’t change my flight I would treat myself to a fancy hotel. So that’s exactly what I did – put myself at the Fairview Hotel in Nairobi for my last night. It has a pool, a sundeck, tons of gardens, five restaurants, a fitness center, a fantastic breakfast buffet and nightly live piano music.

I spent the afternoon laying on the pool deck and letting my mind wander. I didn’t read, didn’t write the postcards I’m behind on, didn’t listen to music. I just thought. And thought and thought. It was lovely. I headed to the garden and sat on a bench surrounded by greenery. My favorite moment of the day came just then. I noticed the first Bird of Paradise flower that I’ve seen in Kenya, so immediately thought of my Nana. She loved Birds of Paradise, thought they were so beautiful. I was smiling and thinking of Nana when a teeny butterfly flitted across the lawn. Butterflies and my Nana had a special connection, and to me butterflies will always represent my Nana’s continuing presence. So that was a truly special few minutes in the garden for me. A perfect compliment to my day.

In the evening, I read for ages, watched a movie on the first TV I had all summer, went for a run in the gym. It was exactly the day that I needed.

And tomorrow I get to go home!

Chicago, Beach Park, Bloomington: I am so terribly excited to breathe your air.

Saying Goodbye

This morning I said goodbye to someone who's been very helpful during my time here. I actually didn't have the highest opinion of him at first. I thought he was a bit too in his own world, I didn't love the way he pretended to ignore most of what I said to him. Wasn't sure if he was playing dumb, ignoring me, wasn't that great at English, or what. But that's irrelevant now, because it turns out that first impression of him was wrong. He turned out to be helpful, outgoing, friendly and really funny. Plus he has big plans (good plans, financially smart and reasonably ambitious ones) for his future, which I really respect. Anyway, I'm glad I was wrong about this dude.

We had kind of said goodbye awhile back, but I'd promised him a gift before we parted ways for good, so there was a complicated arrangement to meet up in Nairobi to give him my thank you gift. He managed to catch a ride to my hotel at 6am my last day in Nairobi, and I stumbled outside with eyes half-opened. I handed him a "paper" bag containing a flask of brandy, half a bottle of Scotch, new books for his four-year-old son, clothes for his wife and some cash. Without even looking in the bag, he gave me a huge hug, saying goodbye and that he was really going to miss me. He even called and texted later that day after he’d opened the bag to again express his gratitude. It was nice to hear that, and an excellent final note to leave on.

Missing People

Normally I miss Chicago things.

I miss pizza and WXRT and the sight of Lake Michigan as I round the bend on Lake Shore Drive. The Mexican place across from my old apartment on Diversey, the Thai place across from the Sheridan apartment. The stupid, unreliable L. After-work drinks at Nevin's Pub and shows at Reggie's Rock Club on the south side. Speaking Spanish and salsa dancing downtown. I usually miss all that hometown stuff.

This time I miss people.

I find myself increasingly drawn to be near “home.” Whereas in the past I would've considered it "settling" (in a horrific way) to choose proximity to home over an exciting opportunity elsewhere, I'm now realizing the simple, pleasant fact that it's not terrible to want to be near people I love.

I like traveling, being challenged by exciting and frustrating cultures, living conditions, work environments. That's why I moved to Thailand - I got bored always knowing how to get around Chicago. Never getting lost. Working at the same job. Meeting some new people, but mostly hanging out with the ones I already knew. So I figured I'd move to a place I knew nothing about. That challenge worked for me in Thailand. But now that I’ve done it a few times, maybe the novelty is wearing off.


There are lots of really great people in my life, and it's pretty wonderful that I'll soon get to spend more time with them.

Not Quite Legitimate

Many Kenyan government or public facilities have signs announcing that they are “Corruption-Free Zones.” I love those signs. Once I walked past such anti-corruption signage only to end up paying a 2,000 bribe to extend my visa. I went to the building in Mombasa that I thought was the immigration/visa extension office, but was kind of given the run-around when the gate security guard told me to go the 3^rd door on the left, then the teller at the 3^rd door on the left told me to go to a different building down the street, then a different security guard told me to go upstairs to the 6^th floor. I asked her if she was sure, and told her I didn’t want to be rude, but that I’d been told several different locations so far. So she made a phone call and brought me to meet some dude, who then escorted me up to the 6^th floor. We walked through a barely-occupied hallway and used a key to get into an empty office – the office where they used to process visa extensions. He rummaged around in a desk, and now that I look back on it, I realize he obviously wasn’t familiar with the contents. This was not his office. He asked how long I wanted to stay in the country, I said just until Aug 22^nd. So he stamped me in until sometime in October and handed back my passport. I was pretty surprised at how “easy” this was and said, “Ok, so that’s it?” And he said yes, that was all. And that’ll just be 2,000 shillings. I figured that was cheap and handed over the money, without thinking too much about it. Only as I stood up did I realize the suddenly apparent fact that this man entered someone else’s office to get their stamp and pocket 2k. There was no mention of a receipt, no book, no signature, no form to fill out. Only a corrupt employee willing to extend my visa without sending me down the street to the new location of the immigration office.

So how did I feel after this, my first time officially participating in such explicit corruption? Well… I felt a little dumb for taking so long to realize the obviousness of the illegitimacy of the interaction. I’d been naïve, so I was a disappointed that I hadn’t been more keenly aware and critical of the situation. But in truth, I mostly felt grateful that my morning trip to immigration was easier and less time-consuming than expected. It was a huge relief and quite satisfying to feel like I had my whole day back to wander around Mombasa.

Much more obvious is the bribery that occurs at police checkpoints ostensibly designed to make sure that matatus aren’t carrying more than 14 passengers. The game they play goes like this: Nearly every matatu is sent to the side of the road for having excess passengers. The police officer ambles around the vehicle while the tout conspicuously holds 100 shillings out the window, and the officer simply pockets the pesa on the way around. Then the driver pulls away and continues his maniacal driving.

Even funnier is when the matatu driver and tout receive word that the police aren’t accepting bribes (this happened 2 of about 100 times I passed a checkpoint). On those days, we simply pull over 100 meters or so before the checkpoint to unload several male passengers. They then walk to the other side of the police blockade while the matatu drives through. Then 10 or 20 meters ahead, in plain sight of the police, the passengers get back in the vehicle. No one even pretends to hide what’s going on. Totally useless.

We also paid a bribe to cross into the Mara Triangle, and I’m sure we gave numerous other little “gifts” in an imperfect attempt to smooth our entry into various parks and who knows where else. And the thing with getting pulled over for supposedly speeding as Andrew drove from Kerio Valley to Nairobi – I don’t know if that was corruption or an attempt to get a bribe, but I do know that it was ridiculous. As we waited at the police station, I started chatting with a Kenyan diplomatic officer who was visiting that town on business. He confirmed that they don’t have radar guns or any real way to measure vehicle speed, so he said they just pull people over that they think may be speeding. I wanted to know how they prove that someone was speeding (but is asking for “proof” a Western thing?? Is that an irrelevant notion in Kenya?), and he said they just check to see if the mandated speed governor has been dismantled. To me though, that doesn’t even answer the question. Then the charge would be that the driver or vehicle owner doesn’t have an appropriately equipped vehicle, not that they were actually speeding. So this doesn’t make much sense to me.

Metz Grant

Visiting Susan’s Center in June, we were happy to find the kitchen already constructed and several Moi undergrads ready to work on the compost toilet. Unfortunately, though, our month here revealed that Susan didn’t spend the funds per our agreed-upon budget and she was not very forth coming with explanations. I’m disappointed about that experience.

We’d obtained funding for a gas stove to alleviate the firewood burden – they built a wood-burning stove with only one burner. Not very practical to cook for the number of guests they’ll have. When we first visited in July, the wonderful ladies made our dinner using the one burner inside plus a number of pots over small, open fires outside. So… still using lots of firewood and unprotected open fires. And the women hinted that they’re more likely to continue cooking outside because that’s what they’re used to. Plus, I would understand that it doesn’t make sense to cook some food (one pot’s worth) in the kitchen and then the rest outside. Too much walking back and forth.

The budget covered the kitchen sink, bunk beds, mattresses and a rain tank. All of those were purchased and within budget. Great.

Too much of the money was spent on transport & labor for the compost toilet. I don’t think Susan really understood the point of the “community contribution,” and to me that’s the biggest let-down of all. We probably weren’t clear about what we meant by community contribution, and I guess we could’ve explained not only what it was (recruiting supporters willing to volunteer their time to help the center), but also why we think it’s important (community buy-in & ownership & all that fluffy MPA stuff). Susan said that community members wouldn’t provide free labor, which I half understand – of course people’s time is valuable. I get that and do want to see people compensated for their work. But I doubt she tried very hard to get those time contributions. Plus Susan doesn’t seem to really care about the toilet. Her skepticism about it is very apparent, and that doesn’t bode well for promoting the toilet among community members.

Overall, I feel let down by the experience. I wish we’d held Susan more accountable for the funds. I hate the idea that we should spend the money ourselves, but apparently there needs to be better oversight of how funds are spent. In giving Susan the entire $5k upfront, we asked her to spend it according to the budget and get receipts. Although I know she spent it on good things for the center, she didn’t spend it as required. That not only puts us in an awkward position with our report back to IU, but it makes me feel that we were used, in a way.

I did say this to Susan when we had a brief meeting last night at the Center. I told her that she and all of us needed to be careful about how grant funds are spent. I told her that we are responsible to IU to spend the money a certain way and she carried that same responsibility. I called this a learning experience for all of us, especially her as she intends to seek bigger grants in the future. She agreed with me and said that yes, she saw this as a lesson for future grants. But I’m still not confident that she’ll change her habits.

A Day of Highs and Lows

Today was the last day of our class (we just have presentations tomorrow), and I swear it was just about the goofiest day on record. If something crazy happened today, it happened to me. I was infuriated, with the full weight of that word, when Gelas required me to make petty edits to our group project after he’d completely failed in his responsibility to give feedback throughout the past 2 weeks. After he magically came up with new requirements that he didn’t communicate to anyone, and after he announced to a half full classroom that the paper was due that afternoon by 2pm (while the other half of us were working in the biology lab because that was the only place with outlets to connect our computers), THEN he insisted on reviewing the paper for feedback. He made valueless comments about things like moving the title under the picture on our cover page. I felt almost angry enough to be violent, but my IU professor commented that I showed incredible restraint.

Also today, I walked into the toilet in the bio building and thought about how sick I am of rolling up my pants every time I enter the soaked bathroom, but then was impressed at what an amazing squat-pee-er I’ve become since 2008. Asia helped a lot with acquiring that skill. Then I dropped my phone in the toilet, of course immediately after I’d peed. Later I cut my hand on barbed wire. The zipper on my backpack broke. My group spent the morning claiming that I’d said I would do the entire PowerPoint presentation on my own, which I most certainly did NOT DO. In fact, I’d asked them on Monday whether I should start working on it OR if they wanted to learn how to use PowerPoint, and the all said they wanted to learn that because it would be a good skill to learn. So we agreed we would finish the paper yesterday (didn’t happen) and spend all day today casually learning how to use PowerPoint together (didn’t happen).

It was a day of highs and lows, but amazingly I felt like a million bucks at the end of the day after I reached the point where nothing else could faze me. I was in a great, happy mood. Just thrilled to be done with the project and incredibly excited about the program drawing to a close. Just a few more days until I get to see family and friends!

Group Project

Today I'm frustrated about journal-writing, because, honest to god, when is there time for journal-writing?!

But I'll talk about group work as I wait for my group to email me something useful. Anything useful. I guess I was a little overly-ambitious in the beginning of this project when I suggested to my group that we split everything up, hammer out first drafts that first week, then spend the remaining time casually editing and improving our product. That didn't even come close to happening.

Instead I’ve found myself begging them for submissions, and not getting very far since the reason/excuse for not writing sections on time is that power was out, they have no internet credit, etc. Those might be completely legitimate reasons, but man, they’re frustrating.

One of the tasks assigned to Person #1, who teaches at the school where we’ve sited our greenhouse project, was to get a map of the general area and of the school compound (buildings, latrines, sports fields, etc.). So, he took literally 2 weeks to do that, claiming that he couldn’t access even Google maps in that time. Then this week he showed up with a huge smile and clear sense of satisfaction as he presented me with a looseleaf sheet of paper – blue lines and everything – on which he’d pencil-drawn a diagram of the school. That… was not very helpful. But by now I’ve changed my attitude about rewriting and fixing their work to meet my standards, because I don’t think that’s fair OF me to do to my colleagues nor is it fair FOR me to have all that extra work to do. So I decided to use his map as it was - I took a photo of it, just darkened the lines on the computer and saved it as an attachment. It’s really a lot easier to do that then to redo the entire map. No more redoing things. No more redoing things. I’m committing to that mantra as a way of protecting my own sanity.